Doctor Smith's Day Off
by John Hawkman
Summary: How could Doctor Smith be expected to do his chores on a day like this? Lost in Space with Ferris Bueller influence. One shot.


Doctor Smith's Day Off

Somewhere not too far from Alpha Centauri, in the late twentieth century…

"Good morning Robinson family," came the voice of the robot, "It is seven twenty-two in the morning. The weather outside is bright and sunny…"

"John! John!"

"What is it, Maureen?"

"It's Doctor Smith!"

"What's wrong with him?"

"Look at him!"

Doctor Smith was lying in his bunk, groaning.

"Robinson, is that you?" Smith groaned, "I can't see that far…oh the pain…"

"Where does it hurt?"

"It's my back. It's acting up again…I think this is it…"

"What's his problem?"came a voice

John and Maureen turned around, and saw Judy standing by the door, in her space suit, twirling her laser pistol.

"He doesn't feel well," Maureen replied, "I think he should stay in bed."

"No, I have to get up…" Smith groaned, "I have my space-chores to do."

"Not today. Doctor Smith, John and I have to go survey that crash site off in the horizon, so Will and Don will look after you today."

"Okay…it's nice to know…"

"Sleep well, Doctor."

The doors shut, and a small light on the door confirmed that it they walked out. Doctor Smith leapt up.

"They bought it!" he grinned

**

Immediately, he got up, and turned on his stereo. Jazz music from the 1930s blasted out. Smith switched on the shower, took out his waterproof paper, and began writing.

_I really did have my space chores today, that wasn't a load of rubbish. But how could I be expected to work on a day like this? I mean, really. And my chores were to refill the hydroponic moisture evaporators. What is the point?_

Smith got out of the shower, and walked down to the robot's room in his bathrobe. He began programming the robot for what he would need to do.

"Don't fear, my nickel plated friend," he grinned

**

Doctor Smith took out his communicator from the side of his belt, and dialed one of the numbers.

"Hello?" came Will's voice

"Will, it's Smith. I'm taking today off."

"So?"

"Come down to the robot room."

"No! I'm trying to sleep."

"Will, I'm serious. If you don't come down now, then our friendship is over."

"You've been saying that since the Farpoint mission!"

**

Down in the steering room, Major West was adjusting the force field settings. Judy was complaining to him.

"I know what you mean," West said, "This is the ninth time he's skipped his chores because of his back. In fact…"

Major West's communicator bleeped. He answered it.

"Hello?" West asked

"Don, it's John Robinson," came a muffled voice, "Uh, listen, Maureen's kind of worn out, so we're getting the Chariot out and driving the rest of the way."

"Sure…Johnny boy, you just give me the ultra-top secret password, and I'll open the garage."

"Don!" Judy screeched

West covered the receiver.

"It's Doctor Smith. I'm setting a trap," he grinned

"Oh!" Judy giggled

"Um…I'm sorry, Don, what password?"

"Come on, John, if you don't give it to me, I'll have to shoot you in the face with my laser gun."

"Don! Do I have to relieve you of duty?"

"Oh, I know something you could relieve me of…"

Judy's communicator rang.

"Hello?" she grinned

"Judy, it's Doctor Smith," he said, "I was wondering, could you check on my experiment in the hydroponic garden? I don't want to contaminate the crops."

"Uh…" Judy was so nervous, she couldn't speak, "I'll…"

"Splendid. Thank you."

"…and then if the handle breaks," West grinned, on the communicator, "You can find a doctor who has a very big…"

"Don!" Judy exclaimed

West covered the receiver again.

"What?" he groaned

"Doctor Smith just called me."

West's eyes shot open. He looked at Judy. Then he looked down at the receiver. He answered it, terrified.

"John, I think I owe you an apology…" he croaked

**

Will Robinson was sitting in the Robot Room, laughing his head off. He then got back to his call.

"Well I should say you do!" Will Robinson said angrily, with his hand over his mouth, "I give you the order for the Chariot, and you threaten me!"

"I know, John, I'm sorry, I…" Don apologized

"Call me sir, damn it!"

"Yes sir! I'll get you the Chariot!"

**

The rear door of the Jupiter Two opened up. Will and Doctor Smith walked inside.

"The 2015 Chariotus Maximus," Will breathed, "My Dad begged them to let him take this on board. He never lets anyone drive it unless it's an emergency. It is his passion, it is his joy…"

"…it is his fault he did not put an alarm around it." Smith grinned

The car stood there, big, and transparent, with its big caterpillar wheels. Curtains hang over the 'windows'. Around it were several other machines, but none of them as great as the Chariot.

"Doctor Smith, what are you getting at?" Will asked

Smith ran his finger across the hood.

"Ooh…" he grinned, "Ah…"

"No! Smith, you don't understand, he loves this car more than life itself!"

"A man with such twisted priorities doesn't deserve this car."

"He knows the mileage, Smith."

"So? Whatever mileage we add, we'll take it off."

"How?"

"We'll drive home backwards."

"Huh…"

"Come on," Doctor Smith climbed into the Chariot, and revved up the engine, "Don't be such a wet blanket."

"Smith! No!"

Doctor Smith drove out, and stopped.

"How about we take the jetpacks?" Will suggested "If we take them, I'll do your space-chores! I'll make us lunch!"

"Get in!"

Will let out a loud groan, and climbed into the front seat.


End file.
